>>>22/2/22 Finally, I had a breakthrough

 I am into Shogi again and I just bought my iPad.  It is a relief.

For a while, I thought I was stuck in a rut.

Now I know, the effect of the medication is very much affecting me like the illness.

There is no real meaning really.  The true meaning is it is an illness and I am unfortunately is one of the sufferers.

The rest are the garnishings surrounding the main event.  In this case, is none other than a mental illness.  Much like the story of John Nash.

I accept the consequences of my mind being sick.

However, I'm not giving in.  At worst, I accept that this is my condition and work along with that line.

I'm not going to quit from my mind.  How silly does that sound?

So now I have my allies; Shogi and iPad.

Beyond that, a Warrior Walk Alone.

I had lost hope to interact intelligently with the rest of the human population.  I am turning into a specialist.

I rather am a specialist tha[t] (than) going around without any skill whatsoever.

So I turn myself into a Shogi expert and [and] also an illustrator.

I will not surrender and call for defeat.

mm